Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm like, not good at living.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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