You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize