I'll bet she douches with gravy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
