would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
