i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
