I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize