WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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