im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
