My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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