the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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