would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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