to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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