Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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