Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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