Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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