the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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