ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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