Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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