so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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