just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
