Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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