I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
