i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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