Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish you could order shots online.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives