Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

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  (323): I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps. http://tfl.nu/nh7r
  Replies (6) Good night (1418) Bad night (509)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.

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  (610): we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/7jhm
  Replies (10) Good night (4776) Bad night (560)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1670) Bad night (838)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.

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  (904): Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically. http://tfl.nu/529h
  Replies (6) Good night (1452) Bad night (785)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.

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  (440): They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME. http://tfl.nu/kpqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1454) Bad night (616)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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  (570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b
  Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.

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  (949): Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me. http://tfl.nu/lccl
  Replies (3) Good night (2351) Bad night (593)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse

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  (301): "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse http://tfl.nu/r0b8
  Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (692)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler

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  (517): Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler http://tfl.nu/xejb
  Replies (4) Good night (1047) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts

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  (847): You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts http://tfl.nu/dzv1
  Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (859)
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  (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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  (209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (371)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"

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  (586): dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit" http://tfl.nu/jnwo
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  answer my text you professional douchebag

  (914): View more from New York

  and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible

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  (914): answer my text you professional douchebag (914): and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible http://tfl.nu/dtk0
  Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.

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  (612): That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful. http://tfl.nu/5ca5
  Replies (0) Good night (240) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

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  (412): So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him. http://tfl.nu/x1lw
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (162)

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