you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR