So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My bed smells like the plague
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
