she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
