My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's like iHOP with fire
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
