he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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