Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
