One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sext me about skeletons
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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