i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
