So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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