Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
