Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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