Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
