the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
