idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
