I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
