just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
