I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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