Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
