return my video game
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
