Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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