Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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