The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
