Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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