Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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