so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
