he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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