i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
