I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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