Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
