not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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