direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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