I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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