it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
