no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize