omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
barbara walters just said penis...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
