Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
